A bad situation & my bad attitude
A couple of days ago I let a certain situation get me upset, angry, worried and frustrated. To make a long story short I was leaving work after the Monday meeting and I had a couple of hours to use before I had to be back at work. I stopped by this produce place to get me some lemons. Well when I was leaving, after I looked behind to reverse, this lady pulled up behind me and I barely backed into her. I got out to see the damage and it was very minor. A tiny bump and scratch. You could barely see it. The lady was making a big deal about everything and was freaking out. I told her I would pay for it. She treated me like I was a liar and a criminal. I dealt with this lady for over 2 hours trying to get everything taken care off. Because the tiny bump was on her bumper of her car, the whole bumper had to be replaced so this whole situation cost me about $750. There's more details to the story that gets me upset but I don't want to think about it any more.
I was so mad that she made a big deal about everything and that she didn't give me one bit of mercy. There has been at least two instances in my past where people did something minor to my car (and I have a nice car that I feel very blessed to have) but I told them not to worry about because I know that stuff happens and people make mistakes and there is no sense about stressing out about it and making a big deal about it. The whole time I was praying for God's grace and mercy and I was waiting on reaping the mercy that I had sown in the past but nope...not this time.
The whole time all this is going on I thinking, why does God want to keep on punishing me for? I had been really wresting with God lately on surrendering my life to Him again and the stuff that has been happening to me currently has been bringing me to that point of rock bottom that makes you desperately want to change. Since the last 3 weeks (since I got back from my visit from Oklahoma and since I've been willfully choosing to sin and worship food) I have had no peace in my life. The last two weeks have been some of the hardest days of my life. The night before I was thinking how I'm really ready to surrender now and the next morning this happens.
The whole time that I'm with this lady I'm praying to God for His mercy and grace. But at the same time, I'm so angry and frustrated and mad at God because I think He is doing all this to punish me. I have a guilty conscience and I feel like the reason why everything is going wrong for me at work is because of I'm sinning and worshiping food instead of God. And I'm mad because I don't have the money to spare to be throwing it away like this.
The whole situation brought out into the open many things that I need to work on. First of all my attitude was way out of line. I let this situation get me all wound up and not just a little bit. I was so mad I could spit fire. I was mad at myself, mad at God and mad at the lady. The things that were going through my mind I am embarrassed to admit and still call myself a Christian. The way I was acting was way out of line also. While I was stewing, God brought to my attention that I needed to forgive this lady. He also showed me that I should be thankful during the situation. I tried thanking Him for things while everything was going on but I don't think my heart was in line with my words.
I think about it now and I should be thankful that I have a car to drive, that there was no damage to my car, that nobody got hurt, that the damages were minor, that I had the money in my checking account to pay the damages, that I'm still alive on this earth, that God is a good god and if he does punish us, it's only because He loves His children and He wants the best for us, etc.....
I think that one of the main reasons why I'm having a hard time wrestling with the things I'm wrestling with and why I have been really frustrated lately is because I haven't been praising God enough. I got caught up in the complaint cycle with God concerning how long it is taking Him to meet my needs, instead of thanking Him for all that He has already done for me. He is an awesome God and I need to praise Him more. My life depends on it!
A person with a thankful heart is a person of great power. A thankful heart is a victorious heart, which sees victory in the face of defeat. Having a thankful heart can keep us in a safe place - a place where Satan cannot gain access to our minds. That place is where we give thanksgiving and praise to God for all that He has done for us.
Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always); Be unceasing in prayer [praying perseveringly]; Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will]. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Amplified Bible
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:6-8 NLT
I was so mad that she made a big deal about everything and that she didn't give me one bit of mercy. There has been at least two instances in my past where people did something minor to my car (and I have a nice car that I feel very blessed to have) but I told them not to worry about because I know that stuff happens and people make mistakes and there is no sense about stressing out about it and making a big deal about it. The whole time I was praying for God's grace and mercy and I was waiting on reaping the mercy that I had sown in the past but nope...not this time.
The whole time all this is going on I thinking, why does God want to keep on punishing me for? I had been really wresting with God lately on surrendering my life to Him again and the stuff that has been happening to me currently has been bringing me to that point of rock bottom that makes you desperately want to change. Since the last 3 weeks (since I got back from my visit from Oklahoma and since I've been willfully choosing to sin and worship food) I have had no peace in my life. The last two weeks have been some of the hardest days of my life. The night before I was thinking how I'm really ready to surrender now and the next morning this happens.
The whole time that I'm with this lady I'm praying to God for His mercy and grace. But at the same time, I'm so angry and frustrated and mad at God because I think He is doing all this to punish me. I have a guilty conscience and I feel like the reason why everything is going wrong for me at work is because of I'm sinning and worshiping food instead of God. And I'm mad because I don't have the money to spare to be throwing it away like this.
The whole situation brought out into the open many things that I need to work on. First of all my attitude was way out of line. I let this situation get me all wound up and not just a little bit. I was so mad I could spit fire. I was mad at myself, mad at God and mad at the lady. The things that were going through my mind I am embarrassed to admit and still call myself a Christian. The way I was acting was way out of line also. While I was stewing, God brought to my attention that I needed to forgive this lady. He also showed me that I should be thankful during the situation. I tried thanking Him for things while everything was going on but I don't think my heart was in line with my words.
I think about it now and I should be thankful that I have a car to drive, that there was no damage to my car, that nobody got hurt, that the damages were minor, that I had the money in my checking account to pay the damages, that I'm still alive on this earth, that God is a good god and if he does punish us, it's only because He loves His children and He wants the best for us, etc.....
I think that one of the main reasons why I'm having a hard time wrestling with the things I'm wrestling with and why I have been really frustrated lately is because I haven't been praising God enough. I got caught up in the complaint cycle with God concerning how long it is taking Him to meet my needs, instead of thanking Him for all that He has already done for me. He is an awesome God and I need to praise Him more. My life depends on it!
A person with a thankful heart is a person of great power. A thankful heart is a victorious heart, which sees victory in the face of defeat. Having a thankful heart can keep us in a safe place - a place where Satan cannot gain access to our minds. That place is where we give thanksgiving and praise to God for all that He has done for us.
Be happy [in your faith] and rejoice and be glad-hearted continually (always); Be unceasing in prayer [praying perseveringly]; Thank [God] in everything [no matter what the circumstances may be, be thankful and give thanks], for this is the will of God for you [who are] in Christ Jesus [the Revealer and Mediator of that will]. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Amplified Bible
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:6-8 NLT
posted by ENS at 11:20 PM
3 Comments:
Sweet Sister,
Let's remember that the Lord chastises us, or allows suffering for the SOLE purpose of drawing us closer to Him for His glory.
It sounds like to me that this lady is a fine example of someone who worships idols. For her to become so extremely upset about a little damage to a worldly object, is such a shinning example to you and me of the worship of worldly things that we can fall into. Let this experience teach us ALL forgiveness, the need to worship God alone, and the love of your enemies.
The Lord WILL be faithful to your obediance, Sister. He keeps his promises, but it will be in HIS time. Patience is one thing that he might be trying to teach you as well. I hope you are encouraged. I know how hard it is to deal with people like that. It seems my life has been full of them.
Here is a verse for you to build you up:
"...yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done."
2 Corinthians 7:9-11
"Behold, for peace I had great bitterness: but thou hast in love to my soul delivered it from the pit of corruption: for thou hast cast all my sins behind thy back." Is. 38:17
God rejoices that you are His loved, pure daughter, cleansed from sin. When I'm struggling with sin, I find it encouraging to remember that my original selfhood was created by God in His image. The sins are an add-on, so they can drop off.
Thank you both for the words of encouragement in my time of need. It is an awesome feeling to know that there are people out there, who don't even know me, care about me and show me love. Many blessings to you both!
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