The devil is a liar
The devil is not creative at all. He deceives and attacks me the same way every time, and I know the pattern of how I act every time as well. I still have the door left open just enough for him to come and attack me once again..... Why do I have to have so much drama with my body??? Why do I have so much hatred against it? Just when I think I'm beginning to have a healthy self-love for my body and I start to treat it with care and love, something happens that makes me want to abuse it.
I try to think of the deep root cause of it all and I'm still left with no answer. I cry out to God and ask Him to show me and I hope He shows me soon. I know one thing that the closer I am to God, the healthier my self-love for my body is. I know I need to feed on Him spiritually instead of going to food for comfort. I know that no matter what I eat, or how much I eat, it is not going to satisfied the true hunger that I long for. I've been down this road so many times and I know exactly what is going to satisfy me and what is not. God can only satisfy my hunger and fill that emptiness void. So why do I let myself be deceived into thinking that physical food can?
Tomorrow is another day and I'm so thankful for God's amazing grace and love for me through my journey. The truth is, I may not have achieved the success of overcoming this nasty disorder YET...the biggest victory is still being here after so many times off falling down...still pressing on and moving forward and choosing to forget about the things that lie behind me.
I try to think of the deep root cause of it all and I'm still left with no answer. I cry out to God and ask Him to show me and I hope He shows me soon. I know one thing that the closer I am to God, the healthier my self-love for my body is. I know I need to feed on Him spiritually instead of going to food for comfort. I know that no matter what I eat, or how much I eat, it is not going to satisfied the true hunger that I long for. I've been down this road so many times and I know exactly what is going to satisfy me and what is not. God can only satisfy my hunger and fill that emptiness void. So why do I let myself be deceived into thinking that physical food can?
Tomorrow is another day and I'm so thankful for God's amazing grace and love for me through my journey. The truth is, I may not have achieved the success of overcoming this nasty disorder YET...the biggest victory is still being here after so many times off falling down...still pressing on and moving forward and choosing to forget about the things that lie behind me.
posted by ENS at 10:09 PM
3 Comments:
i know exactly what you're going through. after struggling with my christianity for a long time, i've come closer to god in the past year. i have some issues with food and body image, and reading your blog hits so close to home, you have no idea. i will keep you in my prayers. i too reach for food when i feel a void or when i need emotional comfort. don't feel alone. i've learned that it's a daily struggle, not one that is easily solved. we can overcome this, however. what a coincidence that i found this blog on this day. i was thinking the exact same thing as what you were writing. thanks for your beautiful honesty.
bless you both, you and joey...
I read a book lately that's helping me a lot with my eating issues, it's not Christian or anything but it's making me think more clearly, it's that silly book, "French women never get fat."
I also loved years ago Gwen Shamblin's writings about God and food, More of Him, Less of Me is one of them I think, and the Weigh Down Diet.
much love,
Laura
Thank you both for your compassion. I'm constantly amazed on how God works. It is so amazing how you Joey found my blog that day as we were going though the same thing. Thanks Laura for the book recommendations. Just in time...I was about to start searching for my next book to read and it is going to be a book that deals with food and self-love. Blessings to you both.
Love,
Esther
Post a Comment
<< Home