Miserable out of His will
How to live a miserable life: After experiencing the true presence of God and a relationship with Him, and after tasting the awesome peace, joy and comfort that comes only from God and living in His will, you then consciously choose to reject Him and His will, and choose to live by your own fleshly desires and worship things (food in my case) as your god.
For almost two weeks now, I have experienced again the hell of rejecting God and consciously living life outside His will. It is the hell that comes from having no peace and joy, from feeling guilty and having condemnation, from hiding my sin from others, from having food on my mind all day long and letting it control me, and the hell that comes from not being able to quench that hunger and thirst that I have that can only be satisfied by God.
The more I give into my sin, the farther away I feel from God and the easier it is to tune out the convictions from Him. I know how much I need Him but still I choose to reject Him. I know that nothing will comfort me and fill that hunger that I have but Him. After all He has done for me, I still turn away from Him. I know I need to seek Him and repent but the longer I give into my fleshly desires, the harder it is to seek with Him. The few times that I prayed, my prayers were dry and every time I would try to read I would fall asleep.
At work, all I think about is food and it is driving me nuts. I am letting it control me. It is making me lazy and I can tell a direct influence that I has on my spirit, mood and attitude. Plus, I don't want to be around anybody because of my guilt and shame.
I am living a very selfish life right now and I need take up my cross and return back to God. Jesus went through so much agony and temptation that He sweat great drops of blood. It is now my time to suffer for Him and the suffering that we must take on is only temporary till God comes back for us.
For almost two weeks now, I have experienced again the hell of rejecting God and consciously living life outside His will. It is the hell that comes from having no peace and joy, from feeling guilty and having condemnation, from hiding my sin from others, from having food on my mind all day long and letting it control me, and the hell that comes from not being able to quench that hunger and thirst that I have that can only be satisfied by God.
The more I give into my sin, the farther away I feel from God and the easier it is to tune out the convictions from Him. I know how much I need Him but still I choose to reject Him. I know that nothing will comfort me and fill that hunger that I have but Him. After all He has done for me, I still turn away from Him. I know I need to seek Him and repent but the longer I give into my fleshly desires, the harder it is to seek with Him. The few times that I prayed, my prayers were dry and every time I would try to read I would fall asleep.
At work, all I think about is food and it is driving me nuts. I am letting it control me. It is making me lazy and I can tell a direct influence that I has on my spirit, mood and attitude. Plus, I don't want to be around anybody because of my guilt and shame.
I am living a very selfish life right now and I need take up my cross and return back to God. Jesus went through so much agony and temptation that He sweat great drops of blood. It is now my time to suffer for Him and the suffering that we must take on is only temporary till God comes back for us.
posted by ENS at 10:37 PM
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