My Energy Today!

Oh My God! The energy I had today was just amazing! Work was good and the whole day I kept looking at my watch, not because I was dreading the day but because I was so pumped and excited about working out after work....What is up with that..?!?! All I know is that's cool with me. I didn't tell anybody my feelings but one off my co-workers told me to go home and burn off some energy. I had a great work out and while I was working out, I had to remind my myself to slow down. (I do interval training and on several of the intervals where I was suppose to reduce speed, I had to make myself slow down)

I'm starting to experience more of the benefits of the raw vegan lifestyle. I've seen slight results from it but only until recently have I totally been for the most part raw. I haven't eaten any junk food since that day I cried out in major desperation after I binged at the Chinese buffet restaurant. That night I totally feared the punishment of God from my disobedience and I knew that I couldn't play around with this issue any more. I had to do something radical and released my secret to my small group that I was apart of when I lived in Oklahoma. After that day, I feel so much free and I'm not quite in the bondage as I used to be in. I have the fear of God in that area of my life back and He is helping every step of the way in resisting my temptations. I'm not totally free yet because some of my mentality about I how I think about food is screwed up but I'm getting better every day. I'm not where I need to be but thank God I'm not where I used to be! -Joyce Meyer

Most people would say that if you eat a diet of just raw fruit and vegetable and some nuts and seed that you won't get enough protein and that you would be weak. I'm not weak and I haven't noticed any loss of muscle at all. If anything, it is bigger and harder than what they used to be when I focused on eating a lot of protein. I'm still lifting about the same weight as I use to but the difference is that I have to rest less in between sets and I recover faster. Talk about raw power.... I'm starting to lose some of the weight finally and I'm beginning to see the definition of the muscles in my body again. It's a wonderful feeling to see my body unfold into an even more beautiful and healthy piece of art, all due to the precious loving help from my Lord Jesus.

After researching and reading about other peoples experiences in the raw food lifestyle, I realized that I was complicating things too much. Since it was something I was unused to, I got caught up in all the "rules" and it was stealing my joy and I wasn't seeing any results. Now, I am being more aware of what my body is telling me to eat and when to eat and am more aware of the symptoms of eating the wrong things that are fit for my body . The secret I knew about all along and have put in to practice before in my life many times and it's the advice I have been given many different people when they asked me how to lose weight. But for some reason, I let myself get out of balance and was hard on myself for not following the "rules". I think I was so hard on myself because I wanted to do my best because I wanted to make God proud of me because I felt like this is His will for me to do but I lost touch with myself and the natural hygiene principles of the raw lifestyle. In the process, I was condemning myself.

Also, after reading about other peoples experiences, I have come to the conclusion that the funk I was going through the last couple weeks was my body detoxing it's self. That explains my sour mood and crankiness, my extreme tiredness, the head cold, the puffiness and everything else that was going on. The symptoms were making it terribly hard for me to want to be a raw vegan.

On one more joyful note, exactly a month from now, I'm flying home to Oklahoma to visit my family and friends! Every day I get more excited about it. I miss everyone so much!

God is so awesome! I can't even fathom His beauty!!!



Some web pages about Natural Hygiene:
http://www.livingnutrition.com/articles/art-1.html
http://www.chrysalisyog.homestead.com/nhinfo.html
http://www.falconblanco.com/health/alimentation/naturalhyg.htm
http://www.naturalhygienesociety.org/present.html

Dryness in prayer

Lately I have been wondering about what is up with my prayer life. It seems that recently I have been experiencing dryness and loss of feelings. I ponder on what am I doing wrong & what sin in my life is keeping me separated from God. This experience of dryness is very painful. I feel like one of the reasons why I'm here at this location, working where I work, is to just be here and be an intercessor for the people and the things around me. How can I be an intercessor when my prayer life is so dry??? I cried out to Him today to show me my answer.

After work tonight, I did a little research on the net in hopes to find some answers. I came across a lot of articles talking about the stages of prayer.

Here is one talking about the The Stages of Contemplative Prayer:

The monumental illusion of the human condition is the idea that God is not . "We translate dryness in prayer as God's absence until we perceive that God is communicating with us at a deeper level." In the dryness we may become discouraged or tempted to give up in favor of relaxation or engrossing work; but if we keep going, we grow in the trust of God and humility, becoming aware of our selfishness and other limitations.

We then may begin to experience exuberant spiritual consolations, the stages of contemplative prayer described by St. Teresa of Avila. The first is infused recollection, " a delicious spiritual savor that attracts us toward the center of our being." It is like a spring of water that quenches dryness from deep within. This grace may expand into the prayer of quiet, where the will is absorbed in God (though memory and imagination may still run rampant). "In this state the divine action seems to grasp the will in a spiritual embrace." In the third stage, the prayer of union, imagination and memory are suspended; "God can communicate more of his gifts because there is no resistance or commentary on our side." When the physical faculties are completely still and the will totally absorbed in God with no self-reflection, we experience the prayer of full union.

There is also an alternative way which St. John of the Cross called the path of pure faith. People along this far more common spiritual path are attracted to interior prayer, but they do not experience the consolations described by Teresa. In contrast to the light of Teresa's way, this path is very dark; but it is as valid as the other because it also leads to transforming union. "God as he is in himself can be fully accessed only by pure faith. The purification of faith and love, not spiritual consolation, leads to transforming
union."

"Transforming union is a restructuring of consciousness, not an experience or set of experiences," so the important element in contemplative prayer is the practice itself rather than the psychological content. God provides the consolations for those who need them, such as those who were most severely damaged in childhood. When we taste the goodness of God by either path, the emotional programs of the false self no longer hold such allure.

Thomas Keating - "Invitation to Love"

It is so enlightening to know that God is purifying my love for Him. We are now asked to pray and serve Him with higher motives than before. Our relationship with God becomes less of a "what I'm getting out of it" attitude. Then we'll grow in humility before God. We realize just how much we depend on Him for everything - even prayer. Thus this seemingly negative experience in prayer helps us to grow in a positive way.

All this time I was letting the devil trick me into thinking that I was not right with God, that I was wasting my time and that my prayers were displeasing to God. But to bad for the devil, because I have been given a new revelation and I have seen the truth...TRY AGAIN DEVIL!!!

This dryness is like a spiritual anesthetic. It numbs our soul while the Master Sculptor 'shapes it into His Image. We have no feeling of anything being accomplished. It is as if we were suspended between heaven and earth. We desire nothing of this world but we are still not ready for the pure air on the mountain of God. We wait, not always patiently, while we roam along unknown paths, thinking at times we are lost, but always finding a new path to take, a new cave to hide in, a dim light to follow. -JOSEPH G. VATH, D.D

Dryness dispels the cobwebs covering our minds and the superfluities that keep us entangled in a maze of nothingness. We are free to roam the limitless realms of His Love, which are ever there to be grasped in a new way. -JOSEPH G. VATH, D.D

Much needed day off

Today was an amazing day. It was my day off and I enjoyed every minute of it. I woke up feeling beautiful and I had that emotional energy that makes you just want to dance and sing. I even got the opportunity to enjoy the beautiful weather and I took a nap in peaceful solitude by pool side. I went and worked out with no makeup and I wore my glasses, and I actually had the confidence that I was attractive...that is a wonderful feeling to have. I had the chance to read up on other people's experiences with the raw vegan lifestyle and I was enlightened with new knowledge and hope and I'm motivated and excited about continuing the lifestyle. I really needed this peaceful day. I'm emotional and spiritual recharged to continue fighting the good fight of faith.


11But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. 12Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses. (I Timothy 6:11-12)

Book sent to my ex's ex

As crazy as it sounds, I felt like God was leading me to send my ex-boyfriend's, ex-girlfriend (the one he just broke up with like a month ago) a Joyce Meyer book in the mail. So I got radical and I purchase a book a couple of days ago and I sent it off today. I inserted a little letter explaining what I felt led to do and wrote how Jesus helped me and lifted me up in my time of suffering when I was broken hearted. I didn't write my name on the letter or leave a return address. I hope it gets to her ok. If not, then it wasn't God will after all.

I have never met her before and she has no idea who I am. They were dating for about 6 months and then he broke up with her. I think she is taking it very hard. The only reason I know what's going on is because I have access to their Xanga sites.

I know that when he broke up with me, my world was shattered and I was a broken, messed up girl and we didn't even date that long. It took me many months before I recovered, which was crazy because I try to avoid drama and I get over things in a healthy manner, but not in that instance. Actually, now I view the situation as a blessing to me because I learned a lot from the whole experience and it was the main situation that brought me to have a personal relationship with Christ. I don't regret the experience because it has made me the person I am today. I finally was able to forgive him last November when I accepted the forgiveness of the Holy Father when I got born again.

The day I found out they broke up, my heart when out to her. The pain from a broken heart is one of the worst feelings. I thought they were the cutest couple and that they were on the road to marriage. It really surprised to find out they split.

I pray that the book I sent her blesses her and helps her. I hope she doesn't get freaked out by it and I hope that the teachings of Joyce Meyer will strengthen and renew her spirit.

God sees me as beautiful!

This past week I have been seriously going through emotional battles with myself over body image, especially regarding my weight. I have been working out hard and eating right but the scale has been going up instead of down....very frustrating. Once again, I don't have complete faith in God that he will heal my body and that He will strengthen and enable me to lose the extra pounds I need to lose get back down to where I need to be. I have been overly worried lately about what the world's view of beauty instead of what God views as pure and beautiful. I'm not seeing myself in the true light. I need to stop worrying about what others think about me and I need to mediate more on the truth about what God thinks about me. Physical beauty is only temporary. Spiritual beauty is something you learn and it lasts forever. It crazy though because this part week, even though I feel fat, at least four people have randomly complemented me and told me I'm skinny. It's amazing how God works through people!

What does the Bible say about our worth?
Rom. 5:8 says that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (It doesn't say that when we became gorgeous and thin that Christ died for us.) Ps. 139:13 says that God created our inmost being and knit us together in the womb of our mother. v. 14 says that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. Remember the scripture regarding David where it says that man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart?

What kind of beauty should we be seeking? Prov. 31:30 says that charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting but that a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Prov. 8:11 says that wisdom is more precious than rubies and NOTHING you desire can compare with her.
Rom. 13:14 says that we clothe ourselves with the Lord Jesus.
Col. 3:12 says to clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. -- A side note here: I know a lady who has the virtue of patience, especially with children. I am not a patient person, so to me, she is very beautiful because she exudes that character trait that I desire God to develop in my life.
I Pet. 5:5 says to clothe yourself with humility, which is strength under control, toward one another.
Eph. 4:2 says to be completely humble and gentle. Be patient, bearing with one another in love.
I Tim. 6:11 says to pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance, and gentleness.
I Pet. 3:4 mentions the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's eyes. I always wondered what a gentle and quiet spirit was. Since I love to talk, I always felt that I couldn't attain that characteristic. A gentle spirit is one who doesn't cause disturbances. A quiet spirit is one who isn't upset or boisterous at the disturbances caused by others. Now THAT I believe that I can attain! (with God's help, of course!)

It's obvious that God's view of beauty is so different from this world's. It is so easy to fall into the snare of the Hollywood version. We must be careful to guard our hearts, for it is the wellspring of life. Prov. 4:23

http://members.aol.com/srmiller1988/beautiful.html

Desperate need of spiritual food

This past week has been very hectic and I'm battling a cold and I feel so drained by work. The hours are starting to get to me. I'm in such desperate need of spiritual food. My attitude and mind set has not been right and I need to find more time to spend mediating on the Word because my emotional and physical health depends on it. Today I was in a much, much better mood. Yesterday, I was not a happy camper and the littlest things were ticking me off. I set my alarm clock an hour earlier this morning so I could fit some more time reading and I definitely saw the change it made in my attitude and emotions today. I won't make it if I don't spend enough quality time feeding on his Word.

The mysterious ways of God

God works in some pretty mysterious ways. Today at work, again, at the time that I'm suppose to be off, God gives me the opportunity to witness to another associate. I have been so drained this week and I just wanted to go home on time for once. An associate got hurt yesterday at work and when we take them to the doctor, they are suppose to take a drug test. Well, they screwed things up and it didn't get done so he needed to go back to the doctor today to take the test. When he called earlier today, I told him he needed to come in sometime so we could get it done. I have never taken an associate to the doctor before and usually we have our support manager take them so I didn't even think I would have to. But another assistant, who likes to be high on his horse sometimes (I really like the guy but he can be obnoxious sometimes) said that I had to take him. I was like what the heck....It's time for me to go and since when do we have to take them now. I was having a pity party in my head about it.

Anyway, during the conversation with the hurt associate, he keep on bringing up things that led to me being a Christian. Questions such as why did I move to California and why did I pick to move to this town? Most people can't understand why anyone in their right mind would want to move to this town. Some people call it the *!#@ of the central coast. Most of the time I am very open with some people and tell them that I felt a calling to come here. Some people I choose not to tell if it I think they would not understand and I don't want to lead them to think Christians are crazy people or something. I just told him that I just wanted to get out of Oklahoma and I wanted a change. Then he started talking about where he lived and he asked me if I've ever been on this street and how far out I have I been on it. I told him I have been on the street pretty far down because the church I attend is on this street.

Since I said church, it started an entirely new conversation and we started talking about religion and Christianity. One thing led to another and I was able to tell him why I'm not religious and that I have a personal relationship with God. He told me about the major ways he sins and he said he is going to hell. I told him that we are all sinners but the grace of God will cleanse and save us.

He asked me again why I moved here because it just wasn't making since to him why someone would pick to move here. I finally told him the real reason because I knew he would understand now and I told him that the only way I had enough strength and courage to do such a thing is because of our Heavenly Father enabled me to do it and He strengthens me everyday to get through it.

We had a really good conversation and I hoped I shed some light into his life. It is so awesome to see the ways in which God will use me in my workplace if I'm obedient to him.

Life as an Alien

This is a blog entry that I randomly just came acrossed at http://www.anchoryourlife.net/live/


June 14, 2005
Life as an Alien

Filed under: Spiritual Growth — Administrator @ 3:01 pm

Since you call on a Father who judges each man’s work impartially, live your lives as strangers here in reverent fear. (NIV) 1 Peter 1:17

Christians are called to a lifestyle that is different from the rest of the world. Peter reminds his readers who are Christians, that God is the Judge as well as their Father, and that He is impartial in judgment. He urges them to live their lives as “strangers” or “aliens” or “foreigners.” In New Testament times, most of the inhabitants of the Roman world were not citizens. These people were legally classed as aliens. Although the aliens were subjects of Rome and burdened with heavy taxes, they were without rights under Roman law. Instead, these people were subject to the laws of their own country. As a result, the resident alien had no right to claim protection in local Roman courts. Although they had not rights, Rome could command their duty. Because of this, resident aliens often banded together to form smaller communities. These alien communities operated under the laws of their homeland.

Jesus referred to our Christian “alien” status in John 17 when He said, “I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world. My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one. 16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of it.” (John 17:14-16)
As aliens in this present world, Christians are vulnerable. We are without a basis to claim rights under an ungodly society. In turn the church is similar to those small alien communities where we can be God’s “community” in man’s world. As strangers here we have unique “laws” to follow of our heavenly homeland that differ from the world.

How do you feel like a stranger or alien here? Are you ostracized by your neighbors? Criticized for following the Bible with raising your children? Are you shunned in the social arena because you refuse to participate in some of the activities? Do you feel out of step with the rest of the world? If so, great! We are not meant to fit in here. As a matter of fact if you pursue living a godly life you will often find that you are living exactly opposite of the world! And that’s how Jesus lived.

Want to be like Christ? Live as a stranger to this world. . .live according to His Heavenly standards. Ponder some of His closing comments before He died on the cross:
“If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. (NIV) John 15:18-19

The joy of the Lord is my strength!

I may have a crazy job where I work an unlovely schedule and i'm surrounded by hard to get along with people, I may live in a rough, corrupt city where I'm a minority and where there are gangs (and manage and deal with people who are in gangs for that matter) , I may be almost 2,000 miles away from the people I love and the environment I'm use too, and I may be going through some trials but you wouldn't be able to comprehend that by the joy I have and the smile that is planted on my face because of God's precious love. Thank you some much my Heavenly Father!!! You are most worthy of all of my praise!!! Your greatness I am not even able to fathom!!!

Do you really want to get well?

John 5:1-9
After this there was a festival of the Jews, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. Now in Jerusalem by the Sheep Gate there is a pool, called in Hebrew Beth-zatha, which has five porticoes. In these lay many invalids—blind, lame, and paralyzed. One man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and knew that he had been there a long time, he said to him, ‘Do you want to be made well?’ The sick man answered him, ‘Sir, I have no one to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up; and while I am making my way, someone else steps down ahead of me.’ Jesus said to him, ‘Stand up, take your mat and walk.’ At once the man was made well, and he took up his mat and began to walk. Now that day was a sabbath.

Last Saturday, this was the message at bible study and two days ago this was also the message I was listening to by Creflo Dollar. I believe God is trying to teach me something from this and He is asking me the same question he asked that man, "Do you want to be made well?"

Sometimes our biggest disease isn't what appears in our body. Instead, this disease hides in our hearts. "Do I want to get well?" That's a much harder question to answer than meets the eye. I might have to change. I might have to give up my excuses. I might have to adapt to a different lifestyle. I might have to give up blaming others for my problems. I might have to take some responsibility for my own condition.

As the man shows by the end of the story, he wasn't ready to take responsibility for anything. What about me? Do I really want to get well, both spiritually and physically?

"Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, that you and your descendants might live!" Deuteronomy 30:19 [NLT]

Suffering for Christ

"I want to know Christ and . . . the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him in His death" (Philippians 3:10).

How can we be like Christ without sharing in His suffering? No matter what, suffering is coming. Sources of suffering and pain are everywhere for a sincere follower of Christ. Lately it seems like my life has definitely been full of trials and pain. When I first became a follower of Christ, I knew these days would come in the future. When I accepted to do His will for my life, I knew that it was not going to be an easy task for me what so ever. Now it seems like I'm in that season where He is testing me and seeing how much I love Him and how much I am willing to suffer for Him.

My pain is magnified by the consequences of sin, loneliness and isolation from others, puzzling and confusing circumstances, uncertainty caused by change, stress in trying circumstances, the pain of being misunderstood, the ache of desires being denied, sickness, resistance from others at God's call, persecution of a variety of types and from a variety of sources, unrealized expectations and the pain of falling short of God's call, the sting of divine discipline, loss of reputation and being considered a "fool" in the eyes of the world.

My job is one area where I am suffering for Him. If it wasn't His will for me to be in this position and if He wasn't there for me every step of the way to strengthen me through it, I would have already turned in my keys. Most days are good but today I just wanted to scream and kick something. This job is very demanding physically and emotionally. I can't even explain the craziness of this job and the circumstances. The most awesome part about it though is that even though this job is something else, I still have peace which passes all understanding and joy unspeakable and that is what keeps me alive and keeps me fighting daily for the Lord. I am in a place where I am nothing and can doing nothing without Him and I am slowly, but surely, giving all of my life over to my Reedemer. He is the only light that will lead me out of my darkness.

The last couple of weeks, people from work have been starting to ridicule me. In Matthew 5:11-12, Jesus said, "Blessed are you when people insult you and persecute you, and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of Me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before me." Jesus said they will "revile you" meaning reproach, revile, heap insults upon you, upbraid them in violent language, will call you evil and contemptuous names, ridicule you because you are Christians. The enemies will try to capitalize on hostility toward you and use verbal abuse, reproaching, insulting language. However, believers are to live above reproach so they never rightly deserve this kind of abuse as a form of punishment.

It is ridiculous what they say about and to me. One of the assistants that I have to work with is the main person most of the comments are coming from, at least to my face that is. What's crazy is that I still love her in the midst of things and I feel she genuinely cares about me too. I think she is just seriously trying to test me to see if I'm all that I say I am and believe what I say I believe. No matter what they say to me though, I know who I truly am in Christ and that is what strengthens me to not be harmed by their words. Although the world may see me as a faulted, dull rock, God sees me as a precious, costly, brilliant, beautiful, flawless diamond. "He hath made every thing beautiful in his time..."(Ecclesiastes 3:11).

Jesus cares about the intimate details of our life. If He notices even a sparrow falling to the ground, how much more does he care about our problems? Jesus will help us with all emotional issues.

We live in a culture that glorifies comfort. Easy is better. But when it comes down to real growth or real change, easy is not better. A life with little or no pain will never allow me to be the deep, faithful, absolutely loyal soldier of Christ and son of God that I want to be. Sacrifice hurts, yet Christian love demands it. Denial of self is uncomfortable, and yet Christ has commanded us to do that daily. We as humans need to be stretched to change and grow.

God uses our suffering and pain for good. Discipline is painful. "Endure hardship as discipline. God is treating you as children. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it" (Hebrews 12:11).

Difficulty in life leads to toughness in character and rugged endurance, while ease and comfort often produce weakness. "Consider it pure joy... when you face trials of many kinds, because ... the testing of your faith develops perseverance" (James 1:2-3). "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness" (2 Corinthians 12:9).

There is nothing more precious to God than our faith, and nothing reveals the true nature of faith better than adversity. When we cling to Him in pain and difficulty, we exhibit what He prizes. "[Trials] have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire-may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:7).

With Jesus there is Eternal Joy. It is a serene and untouchable self-contained joy that is beyond the chances, changes and circumstances in life. Being a Christian does not make life any easier. In fact, sometimes it gets harder. Jesus never promised an easy life for his followers. What he did promise was peace, internal satisfaction, and rest.

Psalm 9:9-10 "The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you."

Psalm 34:18 "The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Martha or Mary?

As Jesus and his disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a village where a woman named Martha welcomed them into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord's feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was worrying over the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, "Lord, doesn't it seem unfair to you that my sister sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me."

But the Lord said to her, "My dear Martha, you are so upset over all these details! There is really only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it—and I won't take it away from her." Luke 10:38-42 NLT

While hard work is honored, it is possible to become so wrapped up in work that one forgets to pay attention to other needs and simple pleasure around them.

Opportunity to spiritually bond with associates

I was planning on leaving early from work today so I could make it to the young adult group event at my church on time. Right before I was leaving, I went to talk to 2 of my associates, one in age around 50 and one in age of around 60 or so. When I approached them, they thought they were in trouble for talking and not really working. They started to tell me what they were talking about and they were talking about having a relationship with God. One lady, the one in her 60's, who is just adorable, is catholic and she was asking the other lady about what she could do to have a closer relationship with God. I was lead to share with her what I believed would help her.

After I shared with them, they shared some very interesting and supernatural stories of how they experience God working in their lives. Their stories touched me and brought a tear to my eye. The 50 some year old opened up to me and told me about a couple of other situations that she is dealing with. She also told me that she feels led to be a preschool teacher and how is struggling in the area of changing her job because she is scared to teach people and she is scared of change. We had a wonderful conversation and it gave me an opportunity to share with them why I become an assistant manager when I didn't feel qualified and how He is taking care of me and giving me peace and joy when everything around me seems crazy, stressful and chaotic.

If I would have been selfish in the fact that I wanted to leave early, which I didn't get to and I was late, and not followed the leading of the Holy Spirit, I would have missed out of this wonderful opportunity to spiritually bond with others. My flesh the whole time was nudging on me to be selfish and cut the conversation short but I'm glad I didn't. We must be still and be in tune with the leading of the Holy Spirit and be flexible to change our plan or will to do the will of God.

As we endeavor to walk closely with God, unscheduled events will often come into our lives. Yet these unexpected happenings may result in greater blessing than we had ever anticipated. If we learn to be flexible and calmly trust God to lead us in His way, we will not only be drawn closer to Him but will be more aware of "a light to shine upon the road".

Blessings & Freedom from Release of Secret

Earlier this week, the night that I was full of shame for being a food worshipper, I knew that I desperately needed help and that I needed to release the secret that I have kept so long about of my bondage with food. I wrote an email to the members of my small group that I was involved in back in Stillwater, the people whom I relate to as my spiritual family, telling them for the first time about the battle I have been dealing with for way to long. It was such a humbling experience for me but I feel the freedom from making that the hard choice.

I am so blessed that I have people in my life who are there for me when I need them and I can trust them with my all my deepest hurts and feelings. They are a precious gift from God. I am so thankful for all their prayers and support. I only hope I can be as much of a blessing to them as they have been to me.

After this whole experience, I definitely feel the power from opening up about my sin to others. It is so freeing to the spirit and I have a new attitude and a renewed mind set. God is picking me up from my brokenness and He is washing away my guilt and shame and He is giving me back my joy and peace.

His Amazing Love

Jesus' love is so beautiful! There were some things that happened at work today and I had 2 choices on how to deal with those things. I could have stressed out about it and relied on my own good works or I could have prayed about and had faith in God that He will take care of it for me. I choose the latter and I experienced the awesome supernatural works of His amazing grace and favor. Jesus is too good to me! I don't deserve any of His righteousness and that is what makes His love so precious.

Devotional sent from a friend

I received this forward yesterday in the mail from a friend that was in my life group back home. She was in a rush and almost deleted the daily devotional but she read it for some reason and thought I would be interested in reading it as well. It is amazing to see the mysterious ways in which God works.

Deadly Weapons

Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do everything for God's glory. 1 CORINTHIANS 10:31

Disregard for the physical aspect of life can greatly contribute to spiritual dryness. This means that a certain amount of discipline must be introduced into our lives. But what kind of discipline?

Firstly, we need discipline in what and how much we eat. Every meal should be a sacrament offered on the altar of fitter and finer living. Doctors tell us that excess food - as well as too little food - destroys brain power. What is in the stomach often determines what is in the head.

Scripture says, "the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking" (Rm 14:17). But it is not a contradiction of that verse to say that often our food and drink determine our fitness for the kingdom of God.

Seneca, in an exaggerated statement made for the sake of emphasis, said, "Man does not die: he kills himself."Dr. R. L. Greene, a professor of chemistry and a specialist in nutrition, says, "The most deadly weapons used by man in committing suicide are the knife, fork, and spoon."
You may be repelled at the idea of committing suicide - and so you should be - but you may well be contributing to your death by choosing wrong ways of eating.

We need discipline also to ensure that we get at least the minimum amount of vitamins. Vitamins are necessary to vitality; they are God's gift to us. The divine Chemist has designed our bodies to work in a certain way. And if we ignore His prescription for health, we reduce our physical effectiveness, which can also reduce our spiritual effectiveness.

Daily Prayer: O Father, help me recognize that physical vitality contributes to spiritual vitality. May I respect the body You have given me and pay attention to the laws of health that You have built into the universe. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

http://www.everydaywithjesusbible.com/

http://www.unity.lifeway.com/

Joy is returning and shame is fading

Today was a great day. The wonderful and never changing love of my Heavenly Father is lifting me up. My joy is coming back and my shame is slowing fading away. I enjoyed the company of a friend, I had an awesome work out at the gym, and the last couple of days I have obeyed His commands on what I should eat with little struggle.

I am taking this situation seriously again and I'm getting back the fear of the Lord that I once had when I began my walk with Christ.

Thank you Jesus for your love that never changes. I'm so thankful that I can always count on you to remain the same when everything around me is changing!

God is so precious and I'm so thankful for His mercy and grace that I need so desperately. No matter how good or bad we think we are, He God still loves us just the same. His love will never be greater or less for us. It is constant, never changing, unfailing, and our actions will not cause Him to love us any less or more. His love is forever!

Hallelujah! Happy are those who fear the LORD, who greatly delight in God's commands. (Psalms 112:1)

They shine through the darkness, a light for the upright; they are gracious, merciful, and just. (Psalms 112:4)

And now, O Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to observe the Lord's commands and decrees that I am giving you today for your own good? To the Lord your God belong the heavens, even the highest heavens, the earth and everything in it. (Deuteronomy 10:12-14)

Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him. He will spend his days in prosperity, and his descendants will inherit the land. The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. (Psalm 25:12-14)

Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. (Psalm 34:9)

Moses said to the people, ' Do not be afraid. God has come to test you, so that the fear of God will be with you to keep you from sinning.' (Exodus 20:20)

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. (Proverbs 1:7)

If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. Anyone who rejected the law of Moses died without mercy on the testimony of two or three witnesses. How much more severely do you think a man deserves to be punished who has trampled the Son of God under foot, who has treated as an unholy thing the blood of the covenant that sanctified him, and who has insulted the Spirit of grace? For we know him who said, ' It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' and again, ' The Lord will judge his people.' It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God. (Hebrews 10:26-31)

Psalm of Praise

Psalm of Praise

Psalm 103:13-22

As kind as a father is to his children, so kind is the LORD to those who honor him.

He knows what we are made of; he remembers that we are dust.

As for us, our life is like grass.

We grow and flourish like a wild flower then the wind blows on it, and it is gone-no one sees it again.

But for those who honor the LORD, his love lasts forever, and his goodness endures for all generations of those who are true to his covenant and who faithfully obey his commands.

The LORD placed his throne in heaven; he is king over all.

Praise the LORD, you strong and mighty angels, who obey his commands, who listen to what he says.

Praise the LORD, all you heavenly powers, you servants of his, who do his will!

Praise the LORD, all his creatures in all the places he rules.

Praise the LORD, my soul!

Our obedience determines our love

God determines whether we love Him, not by what we say or by our feelings for Him, but by our obedience to His commands.

John 14:15 - If you love me, you will obey what I command.

John 14:21 - Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me.

John 14:23-24 - Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. 24 He who does not love me will not obey my teaching.

1 John 5:3 -- This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome.

Obedience to God is our loving response to his gift of life and love. We don't have to obey God out of deep-rooted responsibility, but out of a response for what he has already done for us.

Jeremiah 32:38-41 - God says, “They will be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me to their own good and the good of their children after them. I will make an everlasting covenant with them: and I will inspire them to fear me, so that they will never turn away from me. I will rejoice in doing them good and will assuredly plant in this land with all my heart and soul.”

What are my actions telling God???

I found out who gave me the gift

I found out today who gave me the rose and bear. It was from an associate at work. An associate that used to work in the same office as him told me so he doesn't know I know. She said he thinks I'm so beautiful. I'm so glad to hear that it wasn't from some crazy that was stalking me at my apartment but at the same time, I don't want associates thinking about me in that way, at least not taking actions towards their feelings. I'm very flattered by his effort and the gift but I'm his boss and that's all I'm going to be to him. I hope I won't let this thing create awkwardness between us.

Just last week another associate, who is about 40 or so who has 3 or 4 kids told me that he wished he would have met me earlier in life. I mean, what do you say to that... I just kinda pretended like I didn't know what the heck he was talking about. Then he asked me if I knew what he meant. I just told him that I am not allowed by company policy to date people I supervise. After that, the conversation was just awkward.

Pick up your cross and follow me

34 "If any of you wants to be my follower," he told them, "you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross, and follow me. 35 If you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News, you will find true life. 36 And how do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul in the process? 37 Is anything worth more than your soul? 38 If a person is ashamed of me and my message in these adulterous and sinful days, I, the Son of Man, will be ashamed of that person when I return in the glory of my Father with the holy angels."
— Mark 8:34-38 (NLT)


There is no peace or joy when you are out of the will of God. Life sinks when you know and choose not to do His will. This morning I woke up in a bad mood and the last thing I wanted to do was to go to work. I wanted to say home and feed on the word that much needed. People at work knew that something was up with the way I was acting this morning. I didn't want to smile, I didn't want to talk to any body and I didn't want to hear the complaining. I wasn't rude, I just was in a zone. They all asked if I was tired and I said yes, which I really was, but deep down I knew the real reason why I didn't peace or joy. At about 2, work was crazy and there was so much going on that I didn't have time to think about it and wallow in my pettiness. After the craziness slowed down, I was in a much better mood and work was good after that.

I definitely understand Mark 8:35. When I choose to do my own will, I don't enjoy my life to the fullest and I have no peace and I lose many of the blessings He had in store for me. When I choose to do His will and deny myself, it's hard but life feels amazing and I have supernatural peace and joy. Being a fully devoted follower of Christ is costly but the benefits definitely outweight the costs.

For Jesus' true followers, the Cross is not a piece of jewelry or even a symbol, it is a lifestyle. It is the willingness to follow Jesus in every way, including the way of the Cross. I must surrender my selfishness and lay down my life for the needs of others. I must have unflinching loyalty to God no matter the cost. More than just a burden to bear, "our cross to bear" is a total "buy-in" to the life, character, and way of Jesus.

How To Claim God's Promises Devotional

I received this devotional this morning in my inbox. It interesting to receive this after what happened yesterday.


In Touch Early Light Devotional
Charles Stanley

Sunday September 4, 2005
How To Claim God's Promises
Hebrews 10:23

There are reported to be more than 40,000 promises in the Bible, but sometimes it is difficult to determine how we can properly respond and claim God's awesome pledges to us.

There are two kinds of promises from God. First, He gave limited promises. These are promises made specifically to people in the Bible for their individual purposes. An example of this is when God promised a son to elderly Abraham and Sarah, who was barren. This is not a promise that all barren women can claim and expect God's answer.

However, God also has given general promises. For instance, He promised to never leave or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5b) He also promised to return for us. (John 14:3) These promises pertain to all believers.

And then there are two kinds of general promises: conditional and unconditional. The two aforementioned general promises are unconditional; they require nothing of the believer. However, Philippians 4:19, Psalm 37:4, and other promises like them are conditional. They require something of the believer. In Philippians 4:19, the condition is that we be in Christ. The believer must be living for Him and in total submission to His will. The same holds true for "delighting" in the Lord as stated in Psalm 37:4. Clearly, a relationship comes before a request.

BIG Costly Sinful Decision

I'm so mad at myself today! I compromised yesterday in the area of my eating and I totally sinned today. I willingly bowed down to my master which is food. I was doing extremely well all week and was losing weight till yesterday. I totally screwed up today without a doubt. When the heck am I going to learn and quit wondering around the wilderness?!?! I mean seriously...I'm really getting tired of my actions.

I'm really really scared because I think the consequences of this one aren't going to be pretty. I knew better than to go and eat at the Chinese all you can eat buffet for lunch but I was going to live selfishly and I did it anyway. I knew that it's not pleasing to God but I did it anyway. Thoughts came in my head that if I go and sin like this, then I won't get this person that I deeply desire and I'm believing God to give me. I have had these thoughts several times in my head. Well after I finished feeding my flesh, I felt like God was telling me that I just lost the guy I have been believing God for and the one He wanted to bless me with. Talk about take my breath away. That totally scared me. I don't know what to think know. Then I was like, show me a sign in the fortune cookie. When I opened it up and read the paper and it shocked me. The paper read "Your luck changes today".... Oh my God.....I pleaded to Him and I apologized. Please dear Lord, I'm so sorry! Please don't punish me that way! I was so upset with myself and I got sick to my stomach. The last thing I wanted to do was go back to work now. I was in a bad mood and all I wanted to do was to go home and cry.

What the heck did I do? Did I screw it all up just for a lousy sinful meal? God doesn't play games. So what they heck i'm I doing with my life? I'm so selfish and i just thinking about myself. I'm unworthy of God's merciful grace. I'm totally missing out on all the wonderful opportunities and gifts that God wanted to bless me with. When am I going to learn?!?!

One thing that will help me overcome my addiction and break the burden of this is to let my secret out and tell others what I'm going through and ask them for their prayers. It's a very humbling experience and it's scary to be transparent to others but it's something I have to do.


"I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns." (Philippians 1:6)

Strong desire for a guy

I'm not for sure about what I think about a certain situation with a certain someone that God has put across my path. All I know is that I have a strong desire for this person and I feel like God is telling me that he is the one and that I should have faith in Him that He will make everything happen in His perfect timing and I don't need to worry about a thing. But again I could be totally wrong. I guess that's the point in having faith, believing in things you can't see.

I have prayed for God to show me what this person means to me and show me if this person is the one. I have told Him that I desire to have this person as my lifelong partner but He knows what is best for me and if this person is not what is best for me then I don't want Him. I have prayed to bless this person in all areas of his life, even in his relationships with others, because I want him to be happy.

The whole situation is just crazy and things that has happened between the two of us I can see definite ways in which God could have been playing a part in. But how knows. It drives me nuts because I think about this person daily. There are so many things that I come in contact with on a daily bases that remind me of this person. Lately more and more I have come to the understanding of how God is control over everything and He can make things happen that no one else can do. He can make anything come to pass if it is His will to do so and nothing can stop Him. I'm learning to stop putting limits on what He can do. Anything is possible with the help of God.

This situation is so complex and crazy I can't even really talk to anyone about it because it is just to crazy and I'm sure people would think I'm nuts. I have talked about it to a couple different people about different sections of the story but I'm sure the whole time I'm telling them about it, they are thinking this girl is screwed up and she's not on the right path with God and she totally needs to move on. The devil could be putting those thoughts in my head but I don't know. That's is hardest thing about the situation is having the faith about something that doesn't look like it would ever come to pass. All I know is that if it does come true, it will be a divine connection and God will definitely take all the credit because there would be no way it could have happened without His help.

I have faith that it will come to pass one of these days but I'm showing God that I don't have complete total faith in Him if I'm setting up a profile on the net in hopes of finding "the one". I have to be patient for his perfect timing. Just another test of faith that is holding up my promise......

When we try to speed things up, all we end up doing is stretching out our waiting time.

Being led by my works in search for "the one"

I'm suppose to be led by the Lord in all areas of my life but lately I have been led by my works in the area of my singleness. I got the bright idea to post a profile on Yahoo! Personals about a week ago.

I was so anxious to get my profile up and I wasted so must time and energy in getting everything together. For a couple of days I was so eager to check to see who was interested in me. I searched a couple of times over and over just to make sure I didn't miss anyone that I was potentially interested in sending a message to. I sent a message to six people and not one replied back to me......oh do I feel the rejection. I have had my profile up for about five or six days and I've only had 19 people positively respond....none of which I have responded back to. Being single is so frustrating but it shouldn't be this way. What's bad is that I know the truth so why am I acting this way!?!

I was not led by the spirit to do any of this and I didn't even asked his advice about the lovely plan of mine. One of the main things that will keep you from enjoying life is works of the flesh. I need to avoid the frustrations of fleshly works and ask God for help. It is not a sign of weakness to admit that we cannot help ourselves; it is the truth. Jesus said, "Apart from Me [cut off from vital union with me] you can do nothing." (John 15:5)

I was frustrated, struggling and unhappy simply because I was trying to fix something that I cannot do anything about. I am trying to change something that only God can change. Just another way that I am showing him that I don't have complete faith and patience in him in this area of my life.

I need to back off and wait for God because even though I'm trying hard, my efforts aren't working. But while waiting for God to take care of the situation, I need to enjoy the wait. Waiting for God honors him, and the Bible say that the person who honors God will be honored by Him.

God doesn't move in your life when you struggle and try to take matters into you own hands, which was what I was doing. He moves when you trust Him. If I want to an enjoyable life, sooner or later I must learn to quit trying to make things happen myself.

God wants us to pray first and ask Him for His plan. After we have His plan, then He wants us to trust Him to bring it to pass. Our activity birthed out of the flesh actually prevents God from showing Himself strong in our lives. We can either live as a slave to the law, or as an heir to the promise. We can either live by trying to take care of ourselves, or we can live by trusting God.

Those who believe in God enter into His rest. Rest is freedom from excessive reasoning, struggle, fear, inner turmoil, worry, and frustration, which develops because of our working to do what only God can do. It is the rest of the soul - the mind, will and emotions being at peace.

He is going to take care of us and met our needs. We don't know when or how, and we really don't need to care because we should be enjoying the life we have right now while God is working on our problems.

Because of my impatient, I am prolonging the time I have to wait. When we try to speed things up, all we end up doing is stretching out our waiting time. When we get into works of the flesh, we find ourselves in a big mess that has to be dealt with. Once we have complicated out lives, it takes a while to clean things up. Trying to speed things up to get what God has promised to give us is a work of the flesh and this joy stealer will leave us frustrated and fruitless.

I'm going to remove my profile right now before I do anymore damage...

"Lord, whatever I may desire in my life, if you don't want me to have it, I don't want it. If you do want me to have it, I ask you for it and believe that you will give it to me in your time, in your way, according to your divine plan...In Jesus's Name, Amen"

Hurricane Katrina Prayer

A Prayer for the Victims of Hurricane Katrina

O God, we remember when the disciples of Jesus were terrified after a long night on a turbulent sea. When they cried to you for help, you stilled the sea and brought them to safety. We ask now that you comfort and still the hearts of those suffering from the effects of Hurricane Katrina. We pray for those who have been displaced and who now must return to homes destroyed or damaged by the storm. We pray for those whose lives were lost and for those who now must grieve the loss of a loved one. We pray for those who are attempting to offer help and relief to victims. While we wonder why such devastation can occur, where lives and property can seem held so capriciously in the hand of what is uncontrollable, we know, O God, that you count every hair on our head and that our names are written on the palm of your hand. Let your loving grace wash over those who must now face damaged lives, homes, and possessions. Hold them close to yourself until they are sure of the security of your loving embrace. Calm their hearts and still their souls, O Lord. We ask this for the sake of your love. AMEN. Renée Miller

Ten Ways to Help
1. Pray for victims and their families, that they will find their fears calmed, that they will be given hope in their loss, and that they will be given the strength to begin anew.
2. Listen to the local news to find out about relief efforts in your area and how you might participate.
3. Set aside some portion of your income to help those in need.In addition to the Red Cross, many religious organizations are arranging relief efforts and accepting donations.
4. Offer hospitality to displaced persons and families.
5. Offer to care for the pets of those who have been displaced.
6. Write a letter of hope and encouragement to victims and send it to your local politicians, and to your local newspaper editor.
7. Smile at every person you meet. They may not be a victim, but they may have family or friends who are victims.
8. Go to the Red Cross and offer your services as a volunteer.
9. Set up a prayer vigil at your church, synagogue, or mosque for victims and/or their families and friends.
10. Pray for those who have died, and for their families and friends who grieve.

ExploreFaith.org
http://www.explorefaith.org/prayer/katrina.html

Harricane Katrina tragedy

I think of the hurricane Katrina tragedy that is going on right now and I makes me so much aware of how really blessed I am. The situation is so heartbreaking. I can't even begin in image what they are going through and what they are dealing with. It makes all my spiritual and physical battles that I'm dealing with seem so tiny. My problems are nothing compared to what is going on in their lives.

I'm mean seriously, here I am in the comfort and protection of my apartment, typing on my laptop and I have a job to go to tomorrow and I have enough food to eat and I have clean water to drink. All my needs are being met while there are many people not to far away who are suffering and fighting for their life, dealing with major chaos. It is a battle zone. They are full of anger and fear. They are marching in search of food, water, and relief. They are surrounded by a crumbling city and dead bodies. Infants have no formula, children no food. Nothing for adults. No medical help. No home.

Prayers are vital, but they are not enough. We need to pull together, stand up and take action on behalf of our fellow Americans who are in such desperate circumstances. Money is not enough and it will only help so far. God is the only one who can really help us.

Natural disasters can happen any where and can happen to anyone. We always think that it will never happen to us but you never know.