BIG Costly Sinful Decision
I'm so mad at myself today! I compromised yesterday in the area of my eating and I totally sinned today. I willingly bowed down to my master which is food. I was doing extremely well all week and was losing weight till yesterday. I totally screwed up today without a doubt. When the heck am I going to learn and quit wondering around the wilderness?!?! I mean seriously...I'm really getting tired of my actions.
I'm really really scared because I think the consequences of this one aren't going to be pretty. I knew better than to go and eat at the Chinese all you can eat buffet for lunch but I was going to live selfishly and I did it anyway. I knew that it's not pleasing to God but I did it anyway. Thoughts came in my head that if I go and sin like this, then I won't get this person that I deeply desire and I'm believing God to give me. I have had these thoughts several times in my head. Well after I finished feeding my flesh, I felt like God was telling me that I just lost the guy I have been believing God for and the one He wanted to bless me with. Talk about take my breath away. That totally scared me. I don't know what to think know. Then I was like, show me a sign in the fortune cookie. When I opened it up and read the paper and it shocked me. The paper read "Your luck changes today".... Oh my God.....I pleaded to Him and I apologized. Please dear Lord, I'm so sorry! Please don't punish me that way! I was so upset with myself and I got sick to my stomach. The last thing I wanted to do was go back to work now. I was in a bad mood and all I wanted to do was to go home and cry.
What the heck did I do? Did I screw it all up just for a lousy sinful meal? God doesn't play games. So what they heck i'm I doing with my life? I'm so selfish and i just thinking about myself. I'm unworthy of God's merciful grace. I'm totally missing out on all the wonderful opportunities and gifts that God wanted to bless me with. When am I going to learn?!?!
One thing that will help me overcome my addiction and break the burden of this is to let my secret out and tell others what I'm going through and ask them for their prayers. It's a very humbling experience and it's scary to be transparent to others but it's something I have to do.
"I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns." (Philippians 1:6)
I'm really really scared because I think the consequences of this one aren't going to be pretty. I knew better than to go and eat at the Chinese all you can eat buffet for lunch but I was going to live selfishly and I did it anyway. I knew that it's not pleasing to God but I did it anyway. Thoughts came in my head that if I go and sin like this, then I won't get this person that I deeply desire and I'm believing God to give me. I have had these thoughts several times in my head. Well after I finished feeding my flesh, I felt like God was telling me that I just lost the guy I have been believing God for and the one He wanted to bless me with. Talk about take my breath away. That totally scared me. I don't know what to think know. Then I was like, show me a sign in the fortune cookie. When I opened it up and read the paper and it shocked me. The paper read "Your luck changes today".... Oh my God.....I pleaded to Him and I apologized. Please dear Lord, I'm so sorry! Please don't punish me that way! I was so upset with myself and I got sick to my stomach. The last thing I wanted to do was go back to work now. I was in a bad mood and all I wanted to do was to go home and cry.
What the heck did I do? Did I screw it all up just for a lousy sinful meal? God doesn't play games. So what they heck i'm I doing with my life? I'm so selfish and i just thinking about myself. I'm unworthy of God's merciful grace. I'm totally missing out on all the wonderful opportunities and gifts that God wanted to bless me with. When am I going to learn?!?!
One thing that will help me overcome my addiction and break the burden of this is to let my secret out and tell others what I'm going through and ask them for their prayers. It's a very humbling experience and it's scary to be transparent to others but it's something I have to do.
"I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns." (Philippians 1:6)
posted by ENS at 10:30 PM
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