My love walk
One area in my life that God is starting to dig into is the area of my relationships and my love walk. As long as I can remember, I have never made the relationship in my life a big priority. Yes I have a lot of friends and all, but I haven't really ever had any long-term, strong bonded friendships. I will have close friends for a couple of months or a year or so but somehow the friendship grows weak after time and I find a new friend to fill their place.
I really don't know the root cause of why I can't achieve or maintain strong quality relationships with people. Some of the reason could be my selfishness. Another reason could be me being afraid of letting someone get close enough to really hurt me. Low self-esteem could be another reason because I don't feel like someone will truly accept me for who I am and I'm unable to show me true self. Plus I think that my lack of communication skills plays a part in it too.
When I was young, I never really had any true friends. Most of my childhood I was rejected from my piers. When I got into high school, I had a group of some good friends but I pretty much stayed to myself. I went to a tiny school and I graduated with 19 in my class. The whole entire junior high and high school combined had about a total of 100 kids. It was hard going to a small school because you couldn't really 'pick' your friends. You had your 'cool' group of kids that I didn't enjoy hanging out with (even though I wanted to hang out with them to be accepted) and the 'loser' group. I was in between and I kept to myself. Doing so keep me out of trouble. My parents were very strict and they monitored every move I made. At the time, my parents drove me nuts but as I grow older and I'm around people who's parents weren't there for them and didn't care what they were doing when they were in school, I become a little more appreciative of them and I feel very blessed to have parents that love me.
I think one of the reasons why it's hard for me to communicate with others is because I was sheltered in my childhood and I wasn't really able to be myself. My parent were always in my business and were asking me constantly what I was doing. It cause me to disconnect from them (and other people for that matter)and still, to this day, it is hard in a way to communicate with them. I feel like if I open up and be myself and let them know everything that I'm doing, they are just going to nag me and tell me what I'm doing wrong. It wasn't till I was I junior or senior in college when they finally stopped comparing me to my sister. That was a issue I wrestled with them till they finally could accept the fact that my sister and I are to totally different people and they have to accept each of us for who we truly are. I love my parents to death and they have done their best raising me and I feel extremely blessed to have such wonderful parents but it's only reality that we can't have picture perfect childhoods. I think because they were so in my business when I was younger has cause me to be a loner now and why I feel safe keeping to myself and isolating myself from the outside world.
Since I have been here in California I haven't really made an effort to keep connected with the people back home. I pretty much have not maintained any contact with the people I worked with. A lot of people call me but for some reason, I either don't answer the phone and I battle with my flesh for a couple of days before I call them back or I give into my flesh and don't call them back at all. I don't understand myself. I like the people and I don't have anything against them and I don't have any reason to avoid them but for some reason, I avoid them any way....Craziness....Who knows...I'm a very unique creature to say the least.
Although this last week, I'm starting to get a passion for keeping connected with the people I let myself get disconnected from. A lot of the people from home has been in my thoughts. But it's still hard for me to quit procrastinating and just contact them. I just need to start choosing what is right and not live my life by what my feelings and my flesh want me to do. It's so crazy how God works because 3 people whom I had been thinking about lately called me today. I was so excited to hear from them and I'm making a promise to myself that I am going to make an sincere effort to stay connected to them. Since I have been here, I haven't really had a desire to go home and visit but today I got the desire to and I'm getting excited about going home and seeing my family, my friends and the people I used to work with.
While I was reading the 15th(Formed for God's family) and 16th(What Matters Most) chapters/days in the "Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren, I got really convicted about my love walk. God's 2nd purpose for our life is God wants a family and he created us to be a part of it. After learning to love God (worship), learning to love others is the second purpose of your life. God is love and he treasures relationships. One thing that surprised me was that our spiritual family is even more important than our physical family because it will last forever. Our spiritual family, our relationship to other believers, will continue throughout eternity. It is a much stronger bond, a more permanent bond, than blood relationships. One thing I need to start thinking about is how I can start treating other believers like members of my own family.
Because God is love, the most important lesson he wants us to learn on earth is how to love. It is in loving that we are most like him, so love is the foundation of every command he has given us. "The whole law can be summed up in this one command: 'Love others as you love yourself.'"(Galatians 5:14) Learning to love unselfishly is definitely not an easy task. That is why we're given a lifetime to learn it. God wants us to love everyone, but he is particularly concerned that we learn to love other's in his family. Peter tells us, "Show special love for God's people." (1 Peter 2:17) God wants his family to be known for its love more than anything else. Jesus said our love for each other, not our doctrinal beliefs, is our greatest witness to the world. God wants us to be in regular, close relationships with other believers so we can develop the skill of loving.
Love cannot be learned in isolation. We have to be around people - irritation, imperfect, frustrating people. At my work environment, there are plenty of associates and customers whom are very unique and hard to get along with. I believe that one of the reasons why God wanted me in the job that I'm in, here in this city of California, was because He wanted to do some major work in life in terms of my communication skills and in my love walk. The first day I arrived in this city I realized that. Most people think I'm crazy for wanting to come to this area and do what I do as a job. For the most part, (with God's grace and help of course!) I feel like I am doing a good job so far in the way I have been treating and accepting people. I'm not near where I need to be, but so far I'm happy in the way I have been progressing.
Love should be our top priority, primary objective and greatest ambition. "Let love be your greatest aim."(1 Corinthians 14:1) Relationships must have priority in life above everything else. That truth is one that really convicted me. In my past, I would always put myself and my schedule above my relationships and that is one of the reasons why many of my relationship bonds diminished. I acted as if relationships were something to be squeezed into my schedule. But God says relationship are what life is all about. Busyness is a great enemy of relationships. Life without love is really worthless. God has given us a desire for relationships and if we don't have loving relationships in our life, we will always feel unfulfilled. I am currently feeling that unfulfillness because I let my busy schedule rule over the time I should be spending connecting with my new and old friends.
4 of the 10 Commandments deal with our relationship to God while the other six deal with our relationships with people. God said, "'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart...' This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments."(Matthew 25:34-46)
Relationships, not achievements or the acquisitions for things, are what matter most in life. How you treat other people, not your wealth or accomplishments, is the most enduring impact you can leave on earth. In our final moments, we all will realize that relationships are what life is all about.
One of the ways God measures spiritual maturity is by the quality of your relationships. God will review how you treated other people, particularly those in need. "Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me."(Matthew 25:40) When you transfer into eternity, you will leave everything else behind. All you're taking with you is your character...that's a really convicting statement. "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."(Galatians 5:6) Why should God give us another day if we are going to waste it?
The importance of things can be measured by how much time we are willing to invest in them. The more time we give to something, the more we reveal its importance and value to us. Time is the most precious gift because we only have a set amount of it. When we give someone our time, we are giving them a portion of our life that we will never get back. We must prove the importance of relationships by investing time in them. "My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action."(1 John 3:18) Whenever you give your time, you are making a sacrifice and sacrifice is the essence of love. Love means giving up - yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy, or time for the benefit fo someone else.
I have got so caught up in the busyness of the world that I lost sense of the most important thing in life....relationships. Relationships with people, family, and most importantly God. At work I'm is constantly busy with things but I really need to slow down and spend more time with my associates and get to know them better so can show them I care about them and I appreciate them. Plus I need to slow down and provide good customer service to the customers and make them feel special. I also need to make the new Christian friends I have been blessed with a priority and make time to establish a strong bonds with them as well as making time to connect with the people back home a priority. I need to start making spending time with God a priority again and strive to pray without ceasing.
We don't know how long we will have the opportunity. Circumstances change. People die. Children grow up. We have no guarantee of tomorrow. If you want to express love, you'd better do it now. How will you explain those times when projects of things were more important to you than people? Who do you need to start spending more time with? What do you need to cut out of your schedule to make that possible? What sacrifices do you need to make?
My daily morning prayer:
"God, whether I get anything else done today, I want to make sure that I spend time loving you and loving other people - because that's what life is all about. I don't want to waste this day."
I really don't know the root cause of why I can't achieve or maintain strong quality relationships with people. Some of the reason could be my selfishness. Another reason could be me being afraid of letting someone get close enough to really hurt me. Low self-esteem could be another reason because I don't feel like someone will truly accept me for who I am and I'm unable to show me true self. Plus I think that my lack of communication skills plays a part in it too.
When I was young, I never really had any true friends. Most of my childhood I was rejected from my piers. When I got into high school, I had a group of some good friends but I pretty much stayed to myself. I went to a tiny school and I graduated with 19 in my class. The whole entire junior high and high school combined had about a total of 100 kids. It was hard going to a small school because you couldn't really 'pick' your friends. You had your 'cool' group of kids that I didn't enjoy hanging out with (even though I wanted to hang out with them to be accepted) and the 'loser' group. I was in between and I kept to myself. Doing so keep me out of trouble. My parents were very strict and they monitored every move I made. At the time, my parents drove me nuts but as I grow older and I'm around people who's parents weren't there for them and didn't care what they were doing when they were in school, I become a little more appreciative of them and I feel very blessed to have parents that love me.
I think one of the reasons why it's hard for me to communicate with others is because I was sheltered in my childhood and I wasn't really able to be myself. My parent were always in my business and were asking me constantly what I was doing. It cause me to disconnect from them (and other people for that matter)and still, to this day, it is hard in a way to communicate with them. I feel like if I open up and be myself and let them know everything that I'm doing, they are just going to nag me and tell me what I'm doing wrong. It wasn't till I was I junior or senior in college when they finally stopped comparing me to my sister. That was a issue I wrestled with them till they finally could accept the fact that my sister and I are to totally different people and they have to accept each of us for who we truly are. I love my parents to death and they have done their best raising me and I feel extremely blessed to have such wonderful parents but it's only reality that we can't have picture perfect childhoods. I think because they were so in my business when I was younger has cause me to be a loner now and why I feel safe keeping to myself and isolating myself from the outside world.
Since I have been here in California I haven't really made an effort to keep connected with the people back home. I pretty much have not maintained any contact with the people I worked with. A lot of people call me but for some reason, I either don't answer the phone and I battle with my flesh for a couple of days before I call them back or I give into my flesh and don't call them back at all. I don't understand myself. I like the people and I don't have anything against them and I don't have any reason to avoid them but for some reason, I avoid them any way....Craziness....Who knows...I'm a very unique creature to say the least.
Although this last week, I'm starting to get a passion for keeping connected with the people I let myself get disconnected from. A lot of the people from home has been in my thoughts. But it's still hard for me to quit procrastinating and just contact them. I just need to start choosing what is right and not live my life by what my feelings and my flesh want me to do. It's so crazy how God works because 3 people whom I had been thinking about lately called me today. I was so excited to hear from them and I'm making a promise to myself that I am going to make an sincere effort to stay connected to them. Since I have been here, I haven't really had a desire to go home and visit but today I got the desire to and I'm getting excited about going home and seeing my family, my friends and the people I used to work with.
While I was reading the 15th(Formed for God's family) and 16th(What Matters Most) chapters/days in the "Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren, I got really convicted about my love walk. God's 2nd purpose for our life is God wants a family and he created us to be a part of it. After learning to love God (worship), learning to love others is the second purpose of your life. God is love and he treasures relationships. One thing that surprised me was that our spiritual family is even more important than our physical family because it will last forever. Our spiritual family, our relationship to other believers, will continue throughout eternity. It is a much stronger bond, a more permanent bond, than blood relationships. One thing I need to start thinking about is how I can start treating other believers like members of my own family.
Because God is love, the most important lesson he wants us to learn on earth is how to love. It is in loving that we are most like him, so love is the foundation of every command he has given us. "The whole law can be summed up in this one command: 'Love others as you love yourself.'"(Galatians 5:14) Learning to love unselfishly is definitely not an easy task. That is why we're given a lifetime to learn it. God wants us to love everyone, but he is particularly concerned that we learn to love other's in his family. Peter tells us, "Show special love for God's people." (1 Peter 2:17) God wants his family to be known for its love more than anything else. Jesus said our love for each other, not our doctrinal beliefs, is our greatest witness to the world. God wants us to be in regular, close relationships with other believers so we can develop the skill of loving.
Love cannot be learned in isolation. We have to be around people - irritation, imperfect, frustrating people. At my work environment, there are plenty of associates and customers whom are very unique and hard to get along with. I believe that one of the reasons why God wanted me in the job that I'm in, here in this city of California, was because He wanted to do some major work in life in terms of my communication skills and in my love walk. The first day I arrived in this city I realized that. Most people think I'm crazy for wanting to come to this area and do what I do as a job. For the most part, (with God's grace and help of course!) I feel like I am doing a good job so far in the way I have been treating and accepting people. I'm not near where I need to be, but so far I'm happy in the way I have been progressing.
Love should be our top priority, primary objective and greatest ambition. "Let love be your greatest aim."(1 Corinthians 14:1) Relationships must have priority in life above everything else. That truth is one that really convicted me. In my past, I would always put myself and my schedule above my relationships and that is one of the reasons why many of my relationship bonds diminished. I acted as if relationships were something to be squeezed into my schedule. But God says relationship are what life is all about. Busyness is a great enemy of relationships. Life without love is really worthless. God has given us a desire for relationships and if we don't have loving relationships in our life, we will always feel unfulfilled. I am currently feeling that unfulfillness because I let my busy schedule rule over the time I should be spending connecting with my new and old friends.
4 of the 10 Commandments deal with our relationship to God while the other six deal with our relationships with people. God said, "'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart...' This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments."(Matthew 25:34-46)
Relationships, not achievements or the acquisitions for things, are what matter most in life. How you treat other people, not your wealth or accomplishments, is the most enduring impact you can leave on earth. In our final moments, we all will realize that relationships are what life is all about.
One of the ways God measures spiritual maturity is by the quality of your relationships. God will review how you treated other people, particularly those in need. "Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me."(Matthew 25:40) When you transfer into eternity, you will leave everything else behind. All you're taking with you is your character...that's a really convicting statement. "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love."(Galatians 5:6) Why should God give us another day if we are going to waste it?
The importance of things can be measured by how much time we are willing to invest in them. The more time we give to something, the more we reveal its importance and value to us. Time is the most precious gift because we only have a set amount of it. When we give someone our time, we are giving them a portion of our life that we will never get back. We must prove the importance of relationships by investing time in them. "My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action."(1 John 3:18) Whenever you give your time, you are making a sacrifice and sacrifice is the essence of love. Love means giving up - yielding my preferences, comfort, goals, security, money, energy, or time for the benefit fo someone else.
I have got so caught up in the busyness of the world that I lost sense of the most important thing in life....relationships. Relationships with people, family, and most importantly God. At work I'm is constantly busy with things but I really need to slow down and spend more time with my associates and get to know them better so can show them I care about them and I appreciate them. Plus I need to slow down and provide good customer service to the customers and make them feel special. I also need to make the new Christian friends I have been blessed with a priority and make time to establish a strong bonds with them as well as making time to connect with the people back home a priority. I need to start making spending time with God a priority again and strive to pray without ceasing.
We don't know how long we will have the opportunity. Circumstances change. People die. Children grow up. We have no guarantee of tomorrow. If you want to express love, you'd better do it now. How will you explain those times when projects of things were more important to you than people? Who do you need to start spending more time with? What do you need to cut out of your schedule to make that possible? What sacrifices do you need to make?
My daily morning prayer:
"God, whether I get anything else done today, I want to make sure that I spend time loving you and loving other people - because that's what life is all about. I don't want to waste this day."
posted by ENS at 11:11 PM
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