Relationships
I was thinking today about why I am so bad with relationships and why it is such a struggle for me to stay connected with people. I'm struggling with calling, or returning/answering the phone calls of people I like. I don't really understand why it is so hard for me to do such an easy thing that should bring me joy. Even people I really do truly miss I have a hard time picking up the phone to call them. I should feel good that someone cares about me and wants to talk with me. So why is it so hard for me to call them back? Why do I hate talking on the phone so much?
Several people have asked me if I'm staying connected with people back home and I hate lying and bugs me and I get convicted for doing it but I say yes because I don't want them to think that I'm going to be depressed because I don't have any friends that I talk to from home. If it wasn't for the grace and comfort that I get from the my relationship with the Lord, I probably would be broken down and depressed. Also, I think of the assistants that I work with here as friends and they help me some from being lonely too. Another reason why I think it doesn't bother me as much is because of the fact that even though I am good at making friends, I'm not good at maintaining the relationship that deepens the bond so I am used to not having friends around me all the time and I am used to doing things by myself and being independent. Even thought I'm not depressed, I still get lonely because there is still apart of me that yearns for Godly relationships with people, especially a Godly marriage relationship.
I know that God wants us to come to him for all our needs and he is the only one who can make us completely whole but I also know the important he places on Godly relationships. We were not created to live alone. Like pieces of a puzzle, we were meant to connect to a larger purpose and a larger community. Without those God-intended connections, we feel lonely and lost, and our lives seem to lose their meaning. Plus in the bible it says, "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" (2 Ecclesiastes 4:10)
I think one of the reasons why I am not good at maintaining relationships is because I still have some fear of being judged and still worry about what people think of me. It weird because I am able to open up to people and I make myselvulnerablele on somethings, but at the same time, I can close up and hold myself back. As my relationship with the Jesus continues, I become more and more accepting of myself anI i have realized that everyone is unique and that is what makes us all beautiful. There are days when I have a lot of confidence and there are day when my confidence runs low. When I am close to God and I'consistentlyly in the word, my confidence is higher than wheI'm'm not.
I have so much joy though because I have come along ways from where I used to be. I used to have very low confidence and didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be. Since the day that God called me and showed me my purpose, it as been amazing journey in learning about the person God has made me to be. I just have noticed lately, especially at work, that mconfidiencece is not where it needs to be and I need quit trying to hide my true wonderful self that I am somewhat afraid to show people. What's awesome is thaI i believe that God is working through the assistantI i work with in helping me to increase mconfidencece anI i feel very blessed by them.
One of my favorite Joyce Meyer quotes is "I'm not where I need to be but thank God I'm not where I used to be."
Several people have asked me if I'm staying connected with people back home and I hate lying and bugs me and I get convicted for doing it but I say yes because I don't want them to think that I'm going to be depressed because I don't have any friends that I talk to from home. If it wasn't for the grace and comfort that I get from the my relationship with the Lord, I probably would be broken down and depressed. Also, I think of the assistants that I work with here as friends and they help me some from being lonely too. Another reason why I think it doesn't bother me as much is because of the fact that even though I am good at making friends, I'm not good at maintaining the relationship that deepens the bond so I am used to not having friends around me all the time and I am used to doing things by myself and being independent. Even thought I'm not depressed, I still get lonely because there is still apart of me that yearns for Godly relationships with people, especially a Godly marriage relationship.
I know that God wants us to come to him for all our needs and he is the only one who can make us completely whole but I also know the important he places on Godly relationships. We were not created to live alone. Like pieces of a puzzle, we were meant to connect to a larger purpose and a larger community. Without those God-intended connections, we feel lonely and lost, and our lives seem to lose their meaning. Plus in the bible it says, "If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" (2 Ecclesiastes 4:10)
I think one of the reasons why I am not good at maintaining relationships is because I still have some fear of being judged and still worry about what people think of me. It weird because I am able to open up to people and I make myselvulnerablele on somethings, but at the same time, I can close up and hold myself back. As my relationship with the Jesus continues, I become more and more accepting of myself anI i have realized that everyone is unique and that is what makes us all beautiful. There are days when I have a lot of confidence and there are day when my confidence runs low. When I am close to God and I'consistentlyly in the word, my confidence is higher than wheI'm'm not.
I have so much joy though because I have come along ways from where I used to be. I used to have very low confidence and didn't know who I was or who I wanted to be. Since the day that God called me and showed me my purpose, it as been amazing journey in learning about the person God has made me to be. I just have noticed lately, especially at work, that mconfidiencece is not where it needs to be and I need quit trying to hide my true wonderful self that I am somewhat afraid to show people. What's awesome is thaI i believe that God is working through the assistantI i work with in helping me to increase mconfidencece anI i feel very blessed by them.
One of my favorite Joyce Meyer quotes is "I'm not where I need to be but thank God I'm not where I used to be."
posted by ENS at 6:47 PM
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