The amazing marvelous ways of God
If you could see my face right now, you would see a face glowing with joy with a huge smile. Once again God never ceases to amaze me by the way he works.
God put a man across my path about a year and a half ago. There was just something particularly special about this gentleman that made a major impression on my heart and life. I dated him for about a month and I fell pretty hard for him. Things were wonderful in the beginning but it seems that once we let sin enter the relationship, everything fell apart, he broke up with me and I fell to pieces. He was the first and only guy I really ever dated whom I really could talk about God with and the only one whom I could see the love for God in his heart. I had been in college 3 years now and I didn't go to church anymore after I graduated from high school. I thought all churches was like the one I went to for my whole life...which was a dead church that had no spiritual power. He introduced me to a wonderful, annoited church that I was termindacly blessed by and that church help me have a passion for the church. I was so screwed up but after that relationship, only the grace, love and mercy from God saved me and made me whole again.
That relationship was a major turning point in my life. I went through a lot of pain that God turned into something good and I am so blessed now because it has made me become a better person in so many ways. I had a lot of bitterness and unforgiveness towards this man for a long time and I finally was able to forgive him and myself in November when I got born again, spirit filled. Since God showed me forgiveness, that enable me to forgive others. God put it upon my heart to write this man a letter expressing my deep, heart-felt apologies for the way I acted. It was very hard and embarrassing to do but I was obedient and did it anyway.
After we stopped dating, we stayed some what in touch for a couple of months. Then he moved to a diffent country for half a year and I really haven't talked to him much since he has back. I was talking to him one day in the store before I moved to California and he told me he would be going through California on a road trip this summer. After I heard that he was going to be going through California, I got so excited because I still have a lot of feelings for him. But the thing was, when do I contact him again. I listened to what the Lord was telling me and I felt like he told me to wait till July before I contact him. So I waited till July, then I asked him again, when should I contact him and I felt like he told me to wait till July 12, which also happens to be my parents anniversary. I closed that night so I didn't email him till July 13.
Today I wondered all day if he replied to my email. When I got home from work, nope, no reply. I was not motivated to workout and I was getting strong temptations to eat stuff that I'm not suppose to eat. I told myself that nope, I'm not giving into my selfish desires. But I was getting sick and tired of eating just vegetables all the time and decided to take a break from the candida diet and eat some fruit. So I went to the grocery store and was good and just bought berries and a pineapple, which is my favorite fruit. I really wanted some Bing cherries but I denied my temptation because they are a sweet fruit. Berries are allowed on some of the candida diets so I am not getting to far off of the diet. I walked by some shrimp that I was so tempted to buy and I was tempted to get some ice cream but I told myself that I'm not going to give in and sin. I was proud of myself for dening my fleshy desires but I was not glad that I didn't have the motivation to go workout and stay strong on the candida diet.
When I got home from the grocery store, I cut me off some pineapple and and went and got on my laptop. It showed I had one new message...and it was a reply from him. I was so excited because I didn't even know if he would reply back or not. He said he would be flying out to San Francisco the 7th or 8th of August and wondered if we could see each other. The greatest feeling came over me. Then it came to me that I should have been obedient all a long in eating right and working out. I have 3 weeks to make some major improvements! I was so high on life that I stopped eating and I hurried to the gym. I had an awesome workout and the whole time I had a smile planted on my face. I have so much fire again for God and I'm so happy that my passion and zeal is back. If anything, this email motivated me to get my life back on track according to God's purpose for my life.
I started to worry a little about the fact that I'm not going to be beautiful enough when he gets here. Then God told me not to worry and he shared with me the fact that I'm wonderfully made without a flaw and that he sees me as beautiful and if this guy is God's gift to me, God would have instilled a heart in him that will allow him to see me as beautiful also.
I don't know what is going to happen or what to except from all of this. All I know is that God knows what is best for me and if this is the one for me, awesome. If he is not the one for me, that's fine because God has someone else better for me that he will bless me with.
God put a man across my path about a year and a half ago. There was just something particularly special about this gentleman that made a major impression on my heart and life. I dated him for about a month and I fell pretty hard for him. Things were wonderful in the beginning but it seems that once we let sin enter the relationship, everything fell apart, he broke up with me and I fell to pieces. He was the first and only guy I really ever dated whom I really could talk about God with and the only one whom I could see the love for God in his heart. I had been in college 3 years now and I didn't go to church anymore after I graduated from high school. I thought all churches was like the one I went to for my whole life...which was a dead church that had no spiritual power. He introduced me to a wonderful, annoited church that I was termindacly blessed by and that church help me have a passion for the church. I was so screwed up but after that relationship, only the grace, love and mercy from God saved me and made me whole again.
That relationship was a major turning point in my life. I went through a lot of pain that God turned into something good and I am so blessed now because it has made me become a better person in so many ways. I had a lot of bitterness and unforgiveness towards this man for a long time and I finally was able to forgive him and myself in November when I got born again, spirit filled. Since God showed me forgiveness, that enable me to forgive others. God put it upon my heart to write this man a letter expressing my deep, heart-felt apologies for the way I acted. It was very hard and embarrassing to do but I was obedient and did it anyway.
After we stopped dating, we stayed some what in touch for a couple of months. Then he moved to a diffent country for half a year and I really haven't talked to him much since he has back. I was talking to him one day in the store before I moved to California and he told me he would be going through California on a road trip this summer. After I heard that he was going to be going through California, I got so excited because I still have a lot of feelings for him. But the thing was, when do I contact him again. I listened to what the Lord was telling me and I felt like he told me to wait till July before I contact him. So I waited till July, then I asked him again, when should I contact him and I felt like he told me to wait till July 12, which also happens to be my parents anniversary. I closed that night so I didn't email him till July 13.
Today I wondered all day if he replied to my email. When I got home from work, nope, no reply. I was not motivated to workout and I was getting strong temptations to eat stuff that I'm not suppose to eat. I told myself that nope, I'm not giving into my selfish desires. But I was getting sick and tired of eating just vegetables all the time and decided to take a break from the candida diet and eat some fruit. So I went to the grocery store and was good and just bought berries and a pineapple, which is my favorite fruit. I really wanted some Bing cherries but I denied my temptation because they are a sweet fruit. Berries are allowed on some of the candida diets so I am not getting to far off of the diet. I walked by some shrimp that I was so tempted to buy and I was tempted to get some ice cream but I told myself that I'm not going to give in and sin. I was proud of myself for dening my fleshy desires but I was not glad that I didn't have the motivation to go workout and stay strong on the candida diet.
When I got home from the grocery store, I cut me off some pineapple and and went and got on my laptop. It showed I had one new message...and it was a reply from him. I was so excited because I didn't even know if he would reply back or not. He said he would be flying out to San Francisco the 7th or 8th of August and wondered if we could see each other. The greatest feeling came over me. Then it came to me that I should have been obedient all a long in eating right and working out. I have 3 weeks to make some major improvements! I was so high on life that I stopped eating and I hurried to the gym. I had an awesome workout and the whole time I had a smile planted on my face. I have so much fire again for God and I'm so happy that my passion and zeal is back. If anything, this email motivated me to get my life back on track according to God's purpose for my life.
I started to worry a little about the fact that I'm not going to be beautiful enough when he gets here. Then God told me not to worry and he shared with me the fact that I'm wonderfully made without a flaw and that he sees me as beautiful and if this guy is God's gift to me, God would have instilled a heart in him that will allow him to see me as beautiful also.
I don't know what is going to happen or what to except from all of this. All I know is that God knows what is best for me and if this is the one for me, awesome. If he is not the one for me, that's fine because God has someone else better for me that he will bless me with.


0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home